"Roseanne" relates so much to real life, it’s unbelievable



(via johnnymalik)



my sister is in NYC right now and I keep getting her snapchats and I just want to diiiieeeeeeeeeee

ugh loni / new york you kill me
Things I’ve Learned Since Coming to College: Part 3
  • What it’s like to not live in Warren Towers
  • How to make a phone call
  • How to make buffalo chicken dip. How buffalo chicken dip makes you friends
  • Ugly christmas sweaters are good investments
  • What alcohol tastes like
  • God still loves me even though I know what it tastes like
  • Do not use the word ratchet in an english paper
  • You will spend entire nights piecing together your family tree but at least now it’s all on paper
  • Dean Elmore will deny all of your potential tips when you bartend with him
  • The American Idol that you paid big bucks to see in his prime will play at The Middle East for dirt cheap five years later
  • Your favorite band is not invincible
  • Your mom will get you fired from Monkey Joes
  • Monkey Joes was never that great anyways
  • Working 35 hour weeks at catering will guarantee you won’t get your full tax return
  • Never loan your money out
  • No matter how much you love someone
  • Going grocery shopping when you don’t have a car is a really great workout
  • Your best friend will grow up when she gets to college
  • Pinterest recipes don’t always come out as great as they look online
  • Jose will want to be Facebook friends when he finds out you’re leaving for a while. Tell him you’ll miss him and you’ll see him soon.
  • Staffeasy changed the entire catering game
  • Go to every PR conference you can. Meet the VP of Text100 and intern for them the next summer (still in the works).
  • Kelly will give you meal vouchers for free Rhetts. Ask for an extra honey mustard because they don’t fill the cups enough
  • Put your middle name on your diploma instead of just your middle initial because your mom gave you your name and your education belongs to you
  • COM does free LinkedIn headshots
  • Apply to study “abroad” even if your professional development abroad is different from your world-traveling friends’ abroads
  • Being Best Friends on Snapchat is a status symbol
  • Gel manicures are the best
  • BU’s holiday party cost $132,000
  • Crafting mass amounts of hot chocolate jars and peppermint bark boxes will destroy your fingertips 
  • God sends lovely people to tip you well because He knows when you need it most
  • Never fear being a beginner
  • Breaking Bad ending will make you emotional
  • Your life can fit in two suitcases but must be arranged strategically by weight in order to avoid extra fees
  • "Like we said in the navy, keep your head out of your ass" - my dad’s pre-departure pep talk
  • Your first phone interview will be awkward and you probably won’t get the internship but it’s good practice
  • Your next phone interview will go much smoother and you’ll land it and then you’ll be in charge of Robin Thicke’s socials, etc. aka BIG THINGS
  • Los Angeles is beautiful 
  • Sunshine is good for your soul
  • Keep going to concerts alone. Go see bands you’ve never listened to. You’re here to do music. So do it
  • Trace Cyrus will call you on the phone
  • You’ll get press passes to see Miley with your entire office
  • VIP Parties at the Warped Tour Kick-Off Concert are bench markers in your wonderful, crazy journey and your boss will buy you drinks and Brian Dales will be there
  • Your boss will think you’re cute when your face lights up every time you recognize someone famous
  • Networking works in real life. Someone you went to school with and wrote a paper about your freshman year might put in a good word for you. That same someone might be at that Warped VIP party. Things come full circle and life is amazing
  • Take weekend trips to San Francisco. Go exploring
  • Love no matter how bad it might end up hurting
  • Ride the ferris wheel in Santa Monica five times. The fourth and fifth will include the best kisses
  • Be interesting
  • Be nice. This industry is small and you will work with the same people again and again
  • In n Out
  • Secret menu items like animal fries and neapolitan milkshakes and cookies and cream milkshakes
  • Both of your internships will use AIM and be a blast from the past
  • Countdowns build anticipation like no other
  • Save 20 minutes to eat breakfast and make lunch every morning
  • Renting a car as a 20 year old is very expensive
  • Learning the metro isn’t that hard
  • And will force you to walk about 40 minutes a day
  • Take pictures with a CVS disposable camera and take pictures with the digital camera your best friend gave you as a going away present. Always take too many pictures
  • Your apartment number is an important part of your address and is necessary to receive packages and letters
  • Earthquakes make you feel like you are drunk
  • During an earthquake, be aware of things that could fall on your head
  • A really cute guy might ask you out at Chick-fil-a and introduce you to Parks and Rec and change your life for the better in more ways than one
  • I’m now a paying Netflix subscriber
  • Sam Ash wants you to play their instruments
  • LA traffic is pure insanity
  • McDonald’s will send you a $10 gift card if you tweet them valuable ideas
  • The people that traveled across the country to see me have my heart
  • Yelp may lead you to an all black comedy club where you will be the entire joke
  • Chipotle should have a loyalty program
  • Doing coffee runs doesn’t define you as an intern but it sure makes you feel official
  • Even though an internship is unpaid, they pay you in experience. And free Glamour Kills clothing and brunches and cupcakes and concerts
  • Working full-time unpaid is very hard. Budgeting money is essential
  • Go to classes you’re not enrolled in just because you are interested
  • You can’t complain about your sunburn when everyone you know is frozen in a polar vortex
  • It wouldn’t be a true round of registration without me fucking up somehow aka me dropping my class like an idiot and not being able to get back in. Mary Ellen Oberhauser please work a miracle for me
  • Be gentle. I have just as much power to break someone’s heart as they do mine
  • Spend money on experiences
  • Time differences are challenging
  • Distance is challenging
  • Challenges make you better
  • You don’t always have a plan, but somehow things will work out
  • I earned this
  • I miss Boston dearly and will be back soon

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